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I found your question quite humorous and (apparently ineffectively) attempted to inject some fun into my response. I see you took it as inconsiderate and unprofessional.
Would you have preferred to get a response that's less than honest but makes you feel good?
If you're looking for someone to blow smoke up your rear and tell you that everything is just peachy...that your friend will sail through underwriting with a 470 FICO and 3 straight years of slow/no pays, that's not very professional either. Nor is it ethical, in my opinion.
While I am very empathetic to your friend's situation, it doesn't substantively change the truth contained in my first answer.
Elderly or young, healthy or sick, disabled or able-bodied, VA loan or conventional, veteran or not... with bad credit history and a low FICO score, there's not a bank out there that'll touch the deal unless he's got a SUBSTANTIAL downpayment. No way. No how.
Let's paint the picture again, shall we?
We have an elderly, disabled person with a multi-year history of illness that's affected his ability to pay his bills on time.
Would you loan money to someone with that history? It's not personal, RJ. It's business. To a bank, your friend is not much more than a collection of income, debt, length of credit, amount of credit, and credit score.
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